Yep, sounds kind of weird, I know. But asking your baby for permission to pick him/her up, asking if they would like to go somewhere, do something or for their opinion is a good practice to get into.
Asking permission and having actual conversations with baby (compared to baby talk and rhetorical questions over and over again) shows baby respect and allows them to be an active member in your relationship. No, it is not likely that a young infant will reply "yes, please pick me up" if you ask, however you are helping them to understand language. Soon, they will connect the words "pick up" and the action of you putting your hands out to being picked up. Once they make this language connection they will be able to tell you if they want up or not. The next integral part of this is that you respect their choice, remember you did ask if they wanted to. If baby tells you no, then it is a no.
Of course there are times when you have to call the shots, and even if baby doesn't want to get his/her diaper changed, it's going to happen anyway. However, you can still demonstrate respect and engage in reciprocity by saying "I am going to pick you up and do a diaper change". You are letting baby know what is going to happen and allowing them to be active, instead of passive in the exchange.
When possible, approach and pick up baby from the front. This is a lot less scary then suddenly being grabbed from behind (imagine someone picking you up from behind - I'm sure I'd be scared and probably kick a bit - or a lot). Approaching baby from the front also allows you to have a face to face conversation, look into each other's eyes and read non-verbal cues. This will teach baby how non-verbal communication works and its importance.
Saying "please" and "thank you" are just as important as asking baby for permission. Using polite language creates an atmosphere of respect, and just as asking for permission and their opinion minding your p's ad q's will teach baby their manners. We say please and thank you to show respect, kindness and as part of polite behaviour, why should our children be exempted from receiving this from us?
It is important to remember that baby will learn about life, social norms and acceptable behaviour from those he/she engages with. If baby doesn't receive this kind of respect or is not given the chance to participate in respectful communication now, how will they do so when they are older? On the flip side, if you do not say please and thank you to baby from the beginning, when will you start? Will you just suddenly start speaking politely to your child on their, say, 3rd birthday? Not likely. Get into the habit right away. It will help your relationship and help your child to grow into an understanding, polite person who feels respected and loved.
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